This is how I unwind…

This is how I unwind...

When the incessant toil of work takes over – for weeks on end – and Life appears to consist of nothing but rows and rows of someone else’s text and figures and deadlines, and Life outside of work is all school reports and homework and nagging and laundry and cooking and trying to keep an old, draughty house warm, and the days get darker and colder, damp and gloomy, and a person’s computer picks up a virus and all goes haywire and, frankly, everything becomes something of a drudge and hibernation starts to look like the most civilised of mammalian behaviours… well, a person needs to take solace, I think, in pictures. Something simple, easy on the eye, something soothing.

I love to relax by fiddling with design – book covers, or anything remotely “prettified” – and the quiet, pleasant focus of creating.

So I played around with a new cover for my work in progress, The Town that Danced, which hopefully will be ready for publication by spring 2014, and am quite happy with the results.

Potent was the spell that bound thee…

stridingedgeINMATE of a mountain-dwelling,
Thou hast clomb aloft, and gazed
From the watch-towers of Helvellyn;
Awed, delighted, and amazed!

To ——, on Her First Ascent to the Summit of Helvellyn, William Wordsworth

I woke a few days ago with a clear memory of an event some 28 years ago, when I was caught – with a group of friends – on Helvellyn’s Striding Edge in a foggy blizzard. It was, without doubt, the scariest moment of my life.

Striding Edge sits, at its highest point, some 2,831 feet above sea level. Anyone familiar with Helvellyn – or hiking/climbing in general – will know the climate up there can bear little or no resemblance to that at ground level, and those choosing to trek ought always to take Sensible Precautions before setting out.

The group I was with were seasoned hikers and yet, for whatever reason, we’d set forth on that glorious sunny day to climb Helvellyn sans equipment, and thus were totally unprepared when the bad weather descended without warning.

There were perhaps 10 of us – I can’t now recall exactly who was there – equal numbers males/females, all of whom were reasonably experienced and enthusiastic outdoor types. I’d climbed and walked hardily in my childhood. My father is an obsessive adventurer and I was indoctrinated at a very young age to just get on with it – a mantra which has, for the main part, influenced pretty much everything I’ve encountered in life since (thanks, dad). He had me climbing sheer rock faces and crawling through the worst of pokey potholes when I was very young… so I thought I was pretty tough. But this experience on Striding Edge completely threw me – one minute it was beautifully sunny and we were debating which pub we’d head for afterwards, the next we’re blinded by fog and snow, standing on a crumbly path just a few feet wide with hideous life-ending drops at either side.

The chaps became very manly. This I remember with a smile. They felt (as they recounted afterwards, when we were safe) very foolish for having dragged us gals up such a nasty mountain without due precaution. They were angry with themselves and set out, with almost-convincing bravado, to guide us safely across.

The most experienced guy led, testing each step carefully – we couldn’t see more than a few inches in front of our faces – and instructing the rest of us to follow exactly the footsteps of the person in front. We edged slowly along, it took a long time, it was cold and terrifying, but we got to the end, began to descend and emerged from the bad weather and back into the good.

We were elated.

We stopped on the way home at a favourite Italian restaurant – Angelo’s, in Preston – where we took the usual large table in an intimate corner. Ordinarily the wine and beer would flow after a day spent hiking, but this evening we were all too high to drink – we just sparkled, it was a wonderful moment, we were all so very alive – and it was this exact feeling of joie de vivre that I recalled this week when this particular memory came a’haunting.

Perhaps it takes a brush with death to make us truly appreciate life. Or perhaps, inside, we’re all adrenalin junkies at heart. Or it could just be that, in the main, our lives are too safe, uneventful, unchallenging, unexciting… perhaps we’re all just a bit too comfy.

Maybe we should push ourselves away from comfort a lot more often. Okay, foolhardy equipment-less climbing exploits aren’t sensible, but neither really is the totally safe walk. Why bother? A person could just pace their own garden for a few hours instead. We have to take chances… there has to be a slightly uncomfortable edge to what we do, I think, if we’re to truly feel fulfilled and glad to be alive.

I have a hankering to walk Striding Edge again…

Published, here and there…

Well, what a journey…

A book I’d almost written off two or so years ago lay dormant, unloved – I was exhausted, really, after finishing it in 2010, and suddenly I hated it, it had taken too much out of me perhaps – lay in silence until early 2013, when I figured perhaps another look was due. And I liked it again, but it had flaws… I fixed them, the book grew on Sky cover thumbme once more…

So, to cut a long story short, the book – The Sky is Not Blue – is now published, via Mad Bear Books, in ebook and paperback form, and available through the usual online distribution channels (Amazon UK and other international Amazon sites etc.), will shortly be available for direct purchase through the Mad Bear Books website and, hopefully, through a few real life bricks-n-mortar booksellers too if my charm skills come true.

I haven’t been online much, haven’t done the manic self-promo stuff… can’t bring myself to foist my wares on anybody… a Kirby saleswoman I’d never have made! – but it’s there, for anyone who’s interested and, whilst it sits on the commercial shelf, I’ll just get on with finishing another.

The process of publishing is exhausting. To do a Good Job requires a level of commitment to the end product that goes way beyond the remit of Writer. But it’s all been worth it. To know that I’ve put out there a book I enjoyed writing, enjoyed editing, enjoyed (in a twisted, anally retentive way) formatting… it’s all been worth the effort. This bit now – the selling part – I’m not remotely interested in, am afraid, and so I shall leave my Beast to lurk and wait for the chance encounter with a stranger…

I’m such a romantic at heart.

 

Intentional indifference…

Stumbled across this poem quite accidentally and loved it… not quite as appropriate in today’s stifling heat as it may have been in yesterday’s early morning rain, but still – perhaps it’ll help folk cool down.

The Rainrain

All night the sound had

come back again,

and again falls

this quiet, persistent rain.

 

What am I to myself

that must be remembered,

insisted upon

so often? Is it

 

that never the ease,

even the hardness,

of rain falling

will have for me

 

something other than this,

something not so insistent—

am I to be locked in this

final uneasiness.

 

Love, if you love me,

lie next to me.

Be for me, like rain,

the getting out

 

of the tiredness, the fatuousness, the semi-

lust of intentional indifference.

Be wet

with a decent happiness.

 

Robert Creeley, “The Rain” from Selected Poems of Robert Creeley.

Today I met…

dairefracted… Dai Lowe. A nihilistic legend amidst the online writing community.

It may disappoint folk to hear that he’s actually incredibly jolly and smiley. It’ll be less of a surprise to hear he’s witty, informed, charming and entertaining.

He talks about food. I adore foodie talk. So we did talk food for a bit – Spanish, mainly – and then about films… I like relatively obscure, foreign stuff, and it’s always good to get new tips. Dai, I think, has a stronger stomach than I for the more experimental and oft raw offering… but there was common ground on some things and a few recommendations I shall doubtless try out. Literature, life, love… I could happily have stayed and chatted for hours but, alas, he had to catch another train.

Dai is on a tour of Poignant Personal Places – he calls it his Farewell tour of the UK, measured in Cappuccinos… but he’s not really leaving, though today he did show me the map marking his tour, and the ditch in which he wishes, at some point, to curl up in the rain and die. But I suspect he’ll plod on for a bit yet. He’s barely started the tour and the weather’s too good to die in a ditch in the rain. You can follow his exploits here: Chasing the Frothy Bubbles.

As Dai’s also an artist, I figured this was good enough excuse to doctor the only photo taken today which had (for me at least) come out quite bizarrely unflattering… damn that barista and his poor camera skills. It’s not so bad now. And it sort of reflects the heat of the day…

Well-bred insolence…

aristotleblogpic
Aristotle taking sage counsel from Freddie, circa. 335 BC

“… fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence.”

Aristotle ~ Rhetoric, Book II

Aristotle knew a thing or two about man – his strengths, his flaws, his hopes, his fears. Such understanding brings an awareness of how to engage, in order that man performs at his best. Understanding desire is the key to success in communication. It takes talent to extract the best from people. It takes talent to truly understand what they want.

And thus I introduce Freddie – man of many talents in the field of communication and beyond, a fine observer and commentator on modern and ancient Life, a man in possession of the most erudite wit I know, a sharp mind and an effective lightness of treatment… all of which surely epitomizes Aristotle’s well-bred insolence.

If you haven’t checked out his blog at Oomkenscom I’d heartily recommend you do so. It too takes talent – and experience – to apply intelligent insight and entertain whilst still provoking thought… and it takes character to do so with what I think is an admirable deftness of touch.

Aristotle also said:

“…all the valuable qualities that youth and age divide between them are united in the prime of life.”

Amen to that, say I.

I wonder if romance is dead

kiss        I wonder if romance is dead
        Or if it’s merely sleeping
        If somewhere in the
        Depths of time
        It slumbers
        Waiting
        For a
        Rhyme
        To shake the torpor
        Dust the heart
        Type the script
        Prepare to start
        Adopt a stance
        A smile
        A glance
        A gentle kiss
        I miss
        I miss
        These things now seem so fleeting.
         I wonder if romance is dead
        Or if it’s merely sleeping?
                                                         ~ Sandie Zand, Oct 2012

	

When were you last alone?

Me, in the Andalucian mountains – almost, but not quite, alone.


It is one to me that they come or go
If I have myself and the drive of my will,
And strength to climb on a summer night
And watch the stars swarm over the hill.


                          ~ Sara Teasdale, “The Solitary”

When were you last alone?
 
I don’t mean an hour here, an hour there, still clutching smartphone and wandering through streets filled with busy strangers. I mean alone – totally. Cut off from contact with anyone.
 
I got to thinking about this recently after a conversation with a friend, and found myself mentally working back to the last time I was genuinely isolated. I recalled many times when I spent hours of each day alone – I still do – and other times when I felt particularly lonely, but none of these periods was isolation.
 
Then I found it. May 1987. I’d moved into a new apartment and took a week off work to decorate. A landline hadn’t been installed, there were no mobile phones, no email, no internet. I didn’t even have a TV or radio. I had a record player and a pile of albums. I also had a busy social life and a large circle of friends, but for whatever reason I chose to be alone that week and paint those walls.
 
I eventually ran out of paint and had to pop out to buy more and it was the first time in five days I’d spoken out loud and heard another person’s voice… if you discount song lyrics.
 
That’s twenty six years ago.
 
The last time I was completely alone is TWENTY SIX years ago..!
 
I think of it now – spending five days without another human voice, without any form of contact, real or virtual – and I wonder whether I could do it? The concept both intrigues and horrifies me.
 
What do you think? Could you be totally alone for a period of time?
 
There’s a place – the Anechoic Room – which, if you listen to the recording, is self-explanatory. A scary thought. Total silence. Apparently, nobody lasts longer than 45 mins.